


Playing Pranks

by Silverin



Series: The Beach House series [4]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Domestic, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:37:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverin/pseuds/Silverin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The trio is getting in the mood and in troubles; but they enjoy it, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing Pranks

**Author's Note:**

> I´d like to thank my beta again, for helping me to shape the story and for guiding me through the intricacies of the English language. You´re awesome, Raven!
> 
> Also, kiss kiss hug hug to my muse, Radegasta. Without her insistence I´d have probably stopped writting this. If I could, I´d give you a pole-dancing Khan for your birthday, honey!
> 
> And one more thing, I´d like to dedicate occasional bottomKhan to Botany Cameos. I hope you enjoy him ;o)

Two days later Jim had decided to do a little shopping on his own. The process was certainly much faster without Spock reciting paragraphs about vitamins and carbohydrates at him. Jim was skipping happily among the shelves getting stuff right and left without worrying about nutrients. Anyway, the descriptions were written so small that Jim couldn´t read them without his glasses. 

Before he left the house, Jim proclaimed that they weren´t going to be sober on a Friday night _and_ on shore leave. He bought a variety of beer, bottles of champagne and, of course, he didn´t forget huge chunks of chocolate for Spock. 

It was late in the afternoon when Jim´s jeep engine could be heard in the distance over the beach dunes. The beach was empty and quiet, except for the gentle swish of the ocean and a couple of noisy seagulls. Jim drove toward the beach house, singing loudly along with Khan´s favorite songs collection. He was currently hollering “I want to break freeeeeee!” Khan´s choice of music seemed oddly fitting, Jim thought. His beloved Khan, treasuring his freedom. That thought alone caused Jim and Spock to spoil Khan rotten. They did everything possible to help him to forget Marcus´ imprisonment, and to help him and his crew have a much better life. 

Jim parked the car behind the house and when the music stopped, he continued to hum the lively tune. On the beach, he saw two surfboards and smiled, picturing his boyfriends, going fast along the waves. Their bodies moving in perfect sync. So Khan _had_ indeed persuaded Spock to join him. Jim smiled, looking forward to seeing them both surf again tomorrow. 

He was _so_ going to take a HoloVideo for Bones. 

Jim held the key ring in his mouth as he reached for the two bags in the backseat. Then he heard a loud crash from the house. “Ahh, cooking, are we?” he mumbled through the keys, kicking the car door to close it. 

When Jim neared the door, he stopped suddenly. The door was hanging off the hinges, creaking in the slight breeze. There was huge mess in the hall. Oh my god, we had a burglar, was Jim´s first thought. One part of Jim´s mind realized that only an inane person would attempt an attack on the Starfleet officers, perfectly trained and inhumanly strong as they were. But they were his loved ones and anything could happen after all; of course he worried about them. He set the bags down quietly to reach for his phaser, only to remember he didn´t carry it on shore leave. 

Dismayed, Jim ran toward the kitchen. The mess got worse. Cutlery and broken plates were everywhere. The table was a goner. There was a huge dent in the wall and a broken frame with black and white photos of San Francisco lay on the ground. And was that… blood?! Bewildered, Jim ran on into the living room, shouting: “Guys! Where are you?! We had… a burglar…” 

“Ohhh… we are quite all right, sunshine. Don´t worry,” purred Khan from the floor, a lazy smile on his face. 

“…the hell?” 

“Welcome back, Jim.” 

Khan lay sprawled on the carpet, with a cushion under his ass and Spock hovering over him. Well, corrected Jim himself, not only over him but still _in_ him. Spock was grasping Khan´s wrists in a firm grip and was slowly rolling his hips. Their hair was sticking in all directions, they had bruises everywhere and some cuts from the glass shards, and generally they looked like running naked through a crowded Klingon barrack. Khan licked at a bloody smudge on his swollen lips and winked at Jim. Spock was sporting an impressive black eye (or green eye, in his case), some of the scratches on his back leaking tiny droplets of green blood, but he still managed to look somewhat dignified. 

Jim had difficulties to breathe. 

“Y-you made… this mess? AND DIDN´T WAIT FOR ME TO WATCH?!” 

~ 

Jim knew about their superior healing abilities. He could also imagine what they looked like earlier, when he was still busy shopping. 

Jim also knew that when his boyfriends decided to go at it without holding back, he´d better keep a little distance. He loved to watch his lovers. Fascinated when they lost restrains and let go completely, and smiled sadly when he wasn´t allowed to join in. But these were rare moments. He was more than happy to just watch their combined strength, agility and passion, knowing there will be plenty in store for him later. 

They had to harmonize their needs with each other. Of course, neither Spock nor Khan would hurt Jim intentionally, but with Khan´s modified physique and Spock´s strength there were bound to be hiccups on the way. 

During their first passionate love making Khan gripped Jim´s wrists so hard one of them fractured. Khan was mortified. He didn´t touch Jim again for a long time in fear of harming him, no matter how many times Jim told Khan it was an accident, that he wasn´t mad at him and that he was fine. Later at sickbay, a furious Bones begged to differ. 

Even Spock was easier to persuade to let go _a little_ during sex, but Khan kept handling Jim gently like a doll for a long time afterwards, until he was certain about Jim´s limits. Not that Jim complained. But he was quite enthusiastic to prove to Khan he wasn´t made of glass either. 

Khan was surprised Spock didn´t give him verbal abuse because of the accident with Jim. When Khan asked him, Spock actually shuffled his feet and confessed something similar had happened to them before Khan came along. And yes, Bones had been furious then too and threatened the First Officer to ´stun his ass repeatedly if anything like that happened to his best friend again´. Spock bowed his head in shame but then Jim appeared and pacified Bones before he could carry out the threats. 

As for Jim, his list of relationship hiccups would be a long one. They were mainly caused by Jim´s mouth which had a knack for saying something very inappropriate in very intimate moments. Or he would do something unexpected in the middle of things, startling his lovers. Like kissing Spock enthusiastically, then headbutting Khan, who was behind Jim, by accident. On the other hand, he managed to actually fall asleep on one occasion, leaving his lovers flabbergasted and sexually frustrated. There was also his violent reaction to Spock´s fingers lightly wandering on his ribs for the first (and last) time. Jim involuntarily slammed his knee into the Vulcan´s groin which in turn left Spock howling and cursing in Vulcan. It was NOT what Jim had planned for their foreplay. Nor was Khan with bloody napkins hanging from his nose after the headbutt incident, followed by Bones´ death glare in Jim´s direction. 

As for Khan and Spock, being the natural dominants, it was fun for Jim to watch their foreplay, establishing their roles. Especially when they amicably argued in very complicated sentences with a very difficult vocabulary. However they were also happy to compromise a lot, so their sexual encounters were more like love making and less like a wrestling match. Well, most of the time anyway. 

~ 

“I assure you, Jim, we have plans for you also. I feel an apology for the destroyed furniture is in order…” 

“What the hell happened to your face?” 

Spock grimaced, his ears tinged deep green. “There were these particular circumstances where I became distracted by Khan´s…” 

“Ah… shut up Spock… just, ah… keep going…” Khan moaned loudly. 

“…lost my footing and fell… Khan attempted to catch me…” 

“Ah…sorry I wasn´t fast enough baby…” 

Jim decided watching the finale wasn´t half bad. After all, it could be a long finale. 

There was a soft buzz from somewhere in the room and an artificial voice said: “Incoming call for Captain Kirk.” Jim started, then grinned like a Cheshire cat and went through the mess to find his dataPADD. 

He found it under the sofa and glanced at his blessed-out boyfriends. They gave him a startled look ´You wouldn´t _dare_ ´. Jim smirked and switched the PADD on: “Oh hello Admiral Pike, how can I help you?” 

“Good evening, Jim!” the Admiral greeted. “How is your vacation going?” 

Jim felt glares on the back of his neck and he glanced over to see Khan biting his lip. 

Jim gave the Admiral his most charming smile: “It´s been awesome, Admiral Pike, sir! The peace and quiet, and the VIEW!” He glanced at his boyfriends. “It´s just… fabulous, thank you. Do you need anything?” 

“Yeah, just a quick word with your First Officer, Jim, then I´ll let you to your rest.” 

Spock´s eyes widened, but there was still hope that… 

“Of course, sir, he´s right here. But he´s working out so I´ll hold the PADD for him.” 

Before Spock or Khan could utter a single threat, Jim pushed the PADD in front of Spock´s face. 

“Good evening, Commander Spock,” said the Admiral. Pike squinted his eyes. “What the hell happened to you?” 

Spock opened and closed his mouth like a fish, not wanting to tell the truth, but at the same time unable to lie. He didn´t dare to move and Khan didn´t dare to breathe. Then despair showed on the Vulcan´s face and he sighed resignedly. “Actually Khan and I are just having an intercourse…” 

“Being funny now, are we, Commander?” deadpanned the Admiral. “Anyway. It´s just a technicality, but you love those, so – call me tomorrow 0900? I´d like to double-check some of the supply of Vulcan scientific equipment you required for the Enterprise.” 

Spock held a neutral face, his hand twitching, wanting to nerve pinch Jim – if only he could reach him: “Of course, sir.” 

“That will be all,” the Admiral smiled politely and Spock and Khan managed to relax very marginally. Spock, unable to stop himself, moved slowly again and Khan arched his back. Before Jim could switch the PADD off, Pike remembered: “Oh, by the way Jim, is Khan there somewhere, please?” 

“Lucky you, Admiral Pike, sir,” chirped Jim, “he´s pumping iron in our fitness corner. He´s lifting now, I´d say, 180 pounds?” 

Jim twirled around and shook the PADD as if he was running. Before any of the other occupants in the room could do or say anything, the PADD was hovering in front of Khan´s face. 

“Impressive,” Pike nodded at Khan´s sweaty face. “Good job, Khan! You should persuade Jim to do more exercise like you, otherwise he´ll drive you crazy when he is bored.” 

Khan was trying to breathe normally. He could feel Spock shaking atop him, his Vulcan self-control weakening. He saw Spock gritting his teeth to keep from moaning. “Be sure I´ll do my best, sir.” 

“I won´t keep you long, just wanted to pass on greetings from your crew, they care deeply about you.” 

“Th…thank you sir.” 

“All right. Good night, gentlemen!” And the dataPADD went blank. Jim disappeared so quickly it seemed he had beamed out. 

Khan gave Spock an incredulous look. Then he groaned. “Spock, finish me off… because I´m going to END THAT BRAT!” 

Spock moved. There was a very un-Vulcan, devilish expression on his face: “I am very loyal to our Captain. Usually. I will help you to retaliate.” 

~ 

Jim was standing in the kitchen. He ruefully nudged the wooden remains of the table, scattered around on the floor, with his foot: 

“We were eating on that table!” 

Khan appeared behind him, fresh from the shower, towel wrapped around his hips. 

“Yes, well, we were shagging on that table.” 

Jim jumped a little, but as Khan appeared non-threatening at the moment, Jim only rolled his eyes. “Sure you did.” 

“There´s an IKEA store in town. I´ll go and buy a new one.” 

“Yeah, like you know how to assemble an IKEA table.” 

“Jim. I have a degree in engineering, nuclear physics, chemistry and psychology. I designed very complicated warp modifications and weaponry for battleships. I´m pretty sure I can manage a table.” 

“It´s an _IKEA_ table, just sayin´…” 

“I have many skills,” Khan smirked. “And right now, you have no idea what I´m planning for you.” 

Jim´s eyes widened. 

“You´ve been very, _very_ naughty, James.” 

Hearing Khan calling him James made him swallow. 

“Indeed,” said Spock, appearing in the doorway. “And as you frequently express, I wouldn´t want to be in your shoes.” 

“Awwww come on, guys! It´s not like I showed Pike your naughty bits!” 

“Would it be your case, _your_ naughty bits would be hanging on the clothesline this very moment.” 

Khan smirked and went to put his pants on. He and Spock methodically started cleaning the mess around the house. Jim shrugged and mumbled “well, dammit” and went to get the shopping bags. He was expecting something unpleasant to happen to him at any moment. He knew both of his lovers could be very imaginative. He jumped at the slightest of sounds and scrutinized any looks directed at him. 

But his boyfriends acted… quite normally, so far. They set the broken door, cleaned the kitchen and started to prepare the evening meal and a campfire. Jim got more and more nervous as time passed. What the hell were the two devils planning? So far no counter action was forthcoming and Jim was slowly, but surely, becoming a quivering bundle of nerves. The _looks_ they were giving him. In another hour, Jim started to sweat. Spock seemed to especially enjoy his evil stare and knowing nods. 

The night had fallen, by the time they had the fire going. Jim broke down. He marched to the fireplace and faced his boyfriends. They were sitting on a blanket near the fire, setting the champagne in some ice. 

“Guys! Come on, I can´t take this anymore! It was stupid of me and I apologize, ok?” He flopped down on the blanket and sighed, crestfallen. “So you can yell at me, do what you want, just get on with it!” 

“Such a tempting thought,” purred Khan and shared another look with Spock. Spock nodded, one corner of his mouth turning up. 

Khan handed his glass to Spock and held up his hand: “Come here, sunshine. We won´t do anything, you´ve been punished enough.” 

Jim gaped: “So… I worried for nothing?” He looked from Khan to Spock: “No pranks? And…” he added disappointedly, “no jumping me, then?” 

Spock lifted an eyebrow: “However did you come up with such a prediction?” 

Jim smirked: “Spock, you know, for such a prissy proper Vulcan, you can be a huge pain in the ass.” 

Spock picked up the bottle of champagne and started to open it. “As all the evidence suggest, only in yours, Jim.” 

Jim looked incredulous and pointed an accusing finger at Khan: “You are a _very_ bad influence on my First Officer!” 

Khan pulled Jim close against his chest and handed him a glass with a smile. “Well, it´s true.” 

Spock opened the bottle with a loud ´pop´ and poured everyone a glass of cool, sparkling wine. 

“Oh, all right then.” Jim made himself comfortable, sitting between Khan´s legs and leaning against Khan´s chest, sighing contentedly. Khan was wearing only a pair of jeans, ripped at the knees, his alabaster skin reflecting the golden glow of the fire. Spock leaned back on his elbow, clad in his swimming trunks and Jim´s old t-shirt, which said ´Save the FUCKING EARTH´. 

Jim raised his dewy glass: “To us, gentlemen.” 

“Cheers!” 

They clinked glasses gently. 

The soft sounds of the ocean were interrupted by the rumbling of Jim´s stomach. Jim snorted into his champagne: “I´m sorry!” He wiped at his mouth. “So,” he looked up at Khan expectantly. “What´s the chef´s opinion? How much longer?” 

~ 

Khan had marinated the ribs the day before in sauce made of spices, custard, white wine and honey. Jim was keeping him company in the kitchen, sitting on the counter top and plucking his guitar idly. He liked to play for his boyfriends, or just when he was alone and wanted to ease his mind. 

~ 

Khan stood up to check the meat, and adjust the vegetables and mushrooms roasting off center on low heat. Spock wouldn´t admit it, but he was eyeing the contents of the grill just as hungrily as Jim. 

“Almost ready, no more than half an hour, I reckon. But before that…” Khan smiled at Jim and then winked at Spock, “I have something else for you.” 

He went back into the house. Jim turned to look at Spock, who was watching him intently. Jim had a sudden urge to kiss him, and he did so. Spock leaned into the kiss, his lips so soft and yielding, his hands going automatically under Jim´s t-shirt. An awful memory flashed through his mind. A memory of cold skin and no life in those precious blue eyes. Spock pulled his human lover close to him, mapping his warm skin with his fingers and mouth, feeling Jim´s chest rising and falling, his strong heartbeat. 

Sensing the change in his lover´s mood, Jim looked up at him: “It´s okay, baby. I´m here.” Then he grinned. “There´s probably going to be many more pranks from me yet.” 

Spock´s warm breath brushed his ear: “I… truly do not mind, Jim.” 

Khan returned, enjoying the view. He set a small pot on the grill. Jim´s nose twitched. 

“Oh my god, Khan, is that chocolate?” Jim took another whiff. “It is! You know I love you very much, right?” 

“I am aware of that, sunshine.” Khan chuckled, stirring the melting chocolate. When the contents of the pot were a hot, thick liquid, Khan took it off the grill to cool it a little, and looked at Spock. 

“I have a little treat for you, Commander.” 

“Oi!” Jim grabbed a spoon from a wicker basket. “I´d like some, too!” 

Spock tugged Jim back to him and started to roll his t-shirt up: “Do not trouble yourself, Jim. You will be able to sample some chocolate too, I promise.” 

“Oh!” 

“I confess it is not logical,” Spock gently pushed Jim down on the blanket and started to pull his shorts off, “but the statistical likelihood of me remaining calm in your presence in combination with chocolate is practically non-existent.” Jim shivered in anticipation but grinned widely, letting Spock handle him to his Vulcan heart´s content. 

Khan dipped a finger in the dark, aromatic chocolate, testing its temperature. Jim reached for Khan, bringing the finger into his mouth and sucking it clean. “Mmm, yummy!” Jim then dipped his own finger into the chocolate, quite warm but not hot anymore, and smeared it over Khan´s bottom lip. He looked up at Spock: “Come on, baby, have a taste.” 

Spock leaned close to Khan and licked at his lips sensually, then sucked on his bottom lip. Khan´s pupils widened with lust. He kissed back, one palm running along Spock´s jaw. 

Jim almost drooled with delight at the sight going on above him. That, and the pot of yummy chocolate, of course. He sneaked the spoon, still clutched in his hand, into the dark substance. Unfortunately, nothing escaped Khan´s sharp vision. 

“Uh-uh, none of that.” Khan managed to extract the spoon from Jim who was gripping it tightly; but quite in vain. Then he slowly and sensually poured the chocolate over Jim´s chest and stomach, and then, even lower. “All yours, Commander. Enjoy.” 

Spock was nothing if not dedicated to a given task. His eyes lit up. With a predatory smile on his face, Spock´s mouth was suddenly everywhere. He had Jim writhing on the blanket in seconds. Khan watched for a while, but there was only so much self-restraint an augment could have. 

One empty, chocolate-less pot and several mind-blowing orgasms later, they all lay on the blanket under the stars, the firelight dancing on their bare skin. The loud chirping of crickets was interrupted only by their fast breathing slowing down and Jim´s giggles. 

Finally, Jim managed to extract himself from his lovers and sat up to check the grill. The ember was already very low, the occasional breeze would make it glow brightly. The sparks were flying up into the dark sky where they joined the stars. “The ribs are perfect, I think, but some of the veggies look a bit singed.” Jim poked one pepper with a stick. “Not black, exactly. Black- _ish_ , sort of.” 

Spock was laying face up half way under happy Khan, hair in perfect disarray, sticky with chocolate and other… substances already catching sand everywhere. He smiled blissfully. “It is of no importance, Jim.” 

Jim absently scratched his bum: “Oh man, I need a quick shower! It´s itching.” He wanted to run off, but found out quickly that running was out of the question. Both Khan and Spock had been very thorough with him, leaving Jim breathless and more than satisfied. 

Jim showered and changed into clean shorts and t-shirt. Spock followed. While Khan and Jim, side by side, prepared plates and more champagne, Spock found himself humming merrily in the shower. He frowned and turned the water off. Humming. Him, really? He tried to recall just how much chocolate he had eaten by licking Jim, Khan and the pot, but the figures were swimming in funny fashion in his mind. Spock went to look for some clean clothes, head held high, like a rebel he thought himself to be. There was a smug expression on his face. 

´Whatever. My Vulcan half is humoring my human half,´ mused Spock. ´Never mind that. Just this once. And Jim enjoyed it. And Khan enjoyed it. And _I_ enjoyed it, very, very much, so…´ 

There was a buzz from the table. Oh lovely, a dataPADD again. 

Spock reached for it without a second thought. He pressed an icon to receive the incoming videocall. 

Admiral Pike came through. 

“My sincere apology for yet another call, Commander, but I need one more thing about…” he squinted: “Spock, are you - naked?!” 

“Affirmative.” 

Pike glared at him: “Could you please angle the dataPADD a bit higher up, then?” 

Spock did so and actually snorted. Immediately he looked horrified and slapped his hand over his mouth, turning a nice shade of green. Pike stared at him in disbelief. Then behind Spock he saw Khan saunter in to stand just behind the flustered Vulcan. 

“Commander Khan! What the hell did you drug him with?” barked the Admiral. 

“I can assure you, sir, there are no drugs or such substances here or in a vicinity of this house,” said Spock. Then he hiccupped. 

“It was just chocolate,” shrugged Khan. 

Pike noticed just how close to Spock Khan stood. And how the augment´s arms snaked around Spock´s waist. His jaw dropped: “Oh Lord. It wasn´t really work-out session I´d witnessed earlier!” 

“I told you it was an intercourse and Vulcans do not lie,” insisted Spock indignantly. 

Pike gave him a look Bones would be proud of. He waved his hand resignedly. 

“Of course they don´t. Better call tomorrow, then.” 

Spock came to the same conclusion. He raised his hand in traditional Vulcan greeting: “Live long and…” He seemed to shake and struggle for words. 

Pike watched him in mild amusement: “Take your time, Commander, I have an hour break.” 

“Live long and…and… prrrfffft!” 

Spock lost it completely. One horrified part of his brain was realizing his behavior but it couldn´t connect with the rest of his body. Spock dissolved in helpless giggles, dropped the dataPADD and fled the scene. 

Khan bent to pick it up. There were some disbelieving noises coming from the device. Khan looked at Pike with a rueful smile: “Admiral Pike, I want to apologize on behalf of my partner.” 

“Your…?” 

“Partner, yes. You said you have one hour. Would you like to beam here and have some beer and barbecue with us? I promise we´ll be fully clothed.” 

Pike thought for a moment. 

“Oh why the hell not.” 


End file.
